Help children work out their differences by listening to them and identifying their feelings. This is not always easy to do, but here are some suggestions: Parents can equip their children with the skills and attitudes needed for a fulfilling relationship. “Just getting out the door, everyone dressed and backpacks in hand is enough of a challenge for most of us.”Īccording to Millie Ferrer and Sara McCrea of the University of Florida, the goal for parents is not to rescue their children when they are fighting, but to help them learn to resolve their differences. In other words, fair is not always equal. You can go out of your way to balance things out by spending equal amounts of time and attention on each child but it's not going to work.” Giving each child the attention he needs when he needs it is a more reasonable goal. “Some children simply demand more attention. “There are different temperaments among children,” says Fox. Robert Fox, Director of the Marquette University School of Education Parenting Center. Can we eliminate the arguing altogether? “You can try to keep the peace 100 percent of the time, but you'll fail,” says Dr. Imagine never disagreeing with your spouse. Sometimes, we think that a happy, healthy family never argues, and that’s just not the case. We are not bad parents of course, but if we can begin to see these situations as learning opportunities for our children instead of punishable moments, we will feel less stressed and we may even be able to avoid some of the squabbles. Parents, teachers, counselors–indeed anyone who cares about children–will find this an eye-opening and wonderfully affirming book.The bickering often makes us feel like bad parents - particularly when it happens in public. Here you will find penetrating discussions of the difference between friendship and popularity, how boys and girls deal in unique ways with intimacy and commitment, whether all kids need a best friend, why cliques form and what you can do about them.įilled with anecdotes that ring amazingly true to life, Best Friends, Worst Enemies probes the magic and the heartbreak that all children experience with their friends. As parents, we watch, and often live through vicariously, the tumult that our children experience as they encounter the “cool” crowd, shifting alliances, bullies, and disloyal best friends.īest Friends, Worst Enemies brings to life the drama of childhood relationships, guiding parents to a deeper understanding of the motives and meanings of social behavior. As children grow, their friendships become more complex and layered but also more emotionally fraught, marked by both extraordinary intimacy and bewildering cruelty. In this wise and insightful book, psychologist Michael Thompson, Ph.D., and children’s book author Catherine O’Neill Grace, illuminate the crucial and often hidden role that friendship plays in the lives of children from birth through adolescence.ĭrawing on fascinating new research as well as their own extensive experience in schools, Thompson and Grace demonstrate that children’s friendships begin early–in infancy–and run exceptionally deep in intensity and loyalty. Children can cause untold suffering, not only for their peers but for parents as well. But friends can also gossip and betray, tease and exclude. Friends broaden our children’s horizons, share their joys and secrets, and accompany them on their journeys into ever wider worlds.
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